This article was published in a
network of 40 newspapers from São Paulo and 60 others from other states
I, reasonable Fernando Jorge, will
present here fourteen pieces of advice to smart pre-corpse Michel Temer,
President. Yes, we are both pre-corpses, for we are both in almost identical
range of advanced age. Lady Death spies on us with special attention. Suddenly,
bam!, she will grab our carcase,
throwing us into a grave or a crematory. Therefore, of course, I ask Michel
Temer, pre-corpse colleague, the favor to accept now my advice, before
acquiring the aspect of a melancholic or humorous corpse.
First advice. Remain calm, Mr. President, for having been mentioned four
times in the “Lava Jato (Car Wash) Operation”
investigation. Keep on firm, serene, in spite of the fact that your name
appeared twenty-one times, between the years of 1996 and 1998, on the charts
confiscated by the Federal Police in one of Camargo Correa (construction
company) executive’s house. My pre-corpse colleague’s name always stands out in
such charts, along with an amount of money that adds up over 340,000USD.
Second advice. Show nerve control, pre-corpse colleague, for Romero Jucá
from PMDB (Brazilian Democratic Movement Party), Planning Minister, your right
arm, one of your main articulators, responds to a criminal investigation in
both “Lava Jato” and “Zelotes”.
Third advice. Smile, pre-corpse colleague, before the accusations
against Henrique Eduardo Alves, also from PMDB and Minister of Turism. This
affable collaborator of Your Highness, is under inquiry at “Lava Jato Operation”, authorized by the
Supreme Court, in order to investigate the bribe given to his campaign, Eduardo
Alves’, to the state government in Rio Grande do Norte state.
Fourth advice. Ignore, pre-corpse colleague, the accusations to Geddel
Vieira Lima, also from PMDB, Chief-Minister of your government’s bureau. Look
at this man’s energetic, grim face. He, according to Federal Police’s report,
allowed the construction company OAS to use, in spurious way, his influence as
a congressman in several public institutions.
Fifth advice. Give a lengthy hug, pre-corpse colleague, to Osmar Terra,
Minister of Social and Agricultural Development, from the same PMDB, the
cleanest political party in Brazil. What an insolence, the Court of Auditors of
Rio Grande do Sul state dared point irregularities in Osmar’s office, both in
Secretary of Health and in the City Hall of Santa Rosa, and sentenced him to
pay a high fine!
Sixth advice. Mortgage sympathy, pre-corpse colleague, to Minister
Blairo Maggi, of Agriculture. Blairo, of PP (Progressive Party), is a victim of
two public civic accusations, for administrative improbity, both made by the
Public Ministry of Mato Grosso do Sul state.
Seventh advice. Shake the honest hand, pre-corpse colleague, of your
Minister Mendonça Filho, of Education and Culture, from DEM (Democrats). He was
the target of the seventh phase of “Lava
Jato Operation”, under the accusation of having received 250,000BRL in
bribes from the construction companies Odebrecht and Queiroz Galvão.
Eigth advice. Kiss the lips, pre-corpse colleague, and cuddle lengthily,
tickling the hairy armpits of Minister Gilberto Kassab, of Science, Technology,
and Communications, member of PSD (Social Democrat Party). Kassab is a
defendant in an action of administrative improbity. The São Paulo state Court
of Law dares assert: this former mayor of the capital city of São Paulo did not
stop, in a market, the charge of bribes.
Ninth advice. Pronounce a speech, pre-corpse colleague, in defense of
José Serra, from PSDB (Brazilian Democrat Social Party), your Minister of Foreign
Affairs, mentioned on the list of Odebrecht’s beneficiaries, violated the
Municipal Organic Law when he was elected mayor in São Paulo city. He did not properly
grant the pay raise to municipal public workers. During his mandate, he showed
scandalous administrative improbity.
Tenth advice. Offer a cup of vitamins, pre-corpse colleague, as a
gesture of admiration and friendship, to Ricardo Barros, of PP (Progressive
Party), your Minister of Health. Ricardo’s name is on the Odebrecht’s list.
Federal Police investigate him on three little things, only: passive
corruption, embezzlement, and fraud on bidding to advertising services destined
to Maringá City Hall. All favoring the company “Meta Propaganda”.
Eleventh advice. Send, pre-corpse colleague, a music CD containing songs
by the accordion player Luiz Gonzaga, “King of Baião (kind of Brazilian folk music)”, to Sarney Filho, from PV
(Green Party), you Minister of Environment. Little Sarney, or better, Big
Sarney, had to pay a really high fine under accusation of dishonest political
advertisement, a penalty determined by the Federal Public Ministry.
Twelfth advice. Give as a gift, a very expensive brand new latest design
car, pre-corpse colleague, to Maurício Quintella, from PR (Party of Republic),
your Minister of Transportation. Sweet creature, with his gentle eyes,
Maurício, poor thing, was convicted for administrative improbity, damage to the
public treasury, and unlawful enrichment. He is currently a target in the
inquiry investigating embezzlement.
Thirteenth advice. Protest violently, pre-corpse colleague, against
Helder Barabalho’s accusations, also from super-ethical PMDB, your Minister of
National Integration. Our unfair Justice accuses him of administrative
improbity during his office as a mayor in the town of Ananindeua, Pará state. According
to that Justice, Helder diverted resources from SUS (Unified Health System).
Fourteenth advice. Do not hide your profound admiration, pre-corpse
colleague, for Moreira Franco, from the unpolluted PMDB, your Special
Investment Secretary. On 27 April-1998, the Federal Supreme Court convicted the
former Rio de Janeiro state governor for harmful act against public patrimony.
He used citizens’ money to print the book “Moreira
Franco, ele governou para todos” (Moreira Franco, he governed for all), a
volume containing 274 pages, 180 color photographs and an edition of 50
thousand units. Justice obliged him to return an amount equivalent to 150
thousand US dollars, for noncompliance to the Article 37 of the State Constitution,
which forbids self-promotion of the administrator in publicity of actions and
public works.
Finally, I, writer Fernando Jorge, modest pre-corpse, enthusiastically
greet pre-corpse Michel Temer for the fortunate, really clever choice of his
ministers. Congratulations, president, thousands of congratulations to you!
What a fair, sensate, insightful, spirit of your highness’! And note, I am moved, a warm, candid, and
luminous tear drop slides down my pale patriotic pre-corpse’s face…
Fernando Jorge
Writer and journalist, member of the Ethic Council of Journalists’ Labor
Union of São Paulo State since 2004, Fernando Jorge is the author of the books O
Aleijadinho -seven editions; Lutero e a Igreja do Pecado (Luther
and the church of sin)-eight editions; Vida e Poesia de Olavo Bilac (Olavo
Bilac – Life and Poetry)-seven editions;
Vida, obra e época de Paulo Setúbal (Paulo
Setúbal-Life, Works, and Time)-four editions; As lutas, a glória e o martírio de Santos Dumont (Santos Dumont
– Fight, glory, and martyrdom)-seven editions; Cale a boca, jornalista! (Shut
up, journalist!) -six editions; Drummond e o elefante Geraldão (Drummond
and Elephant Geraldão)-four editions; Água da Fonte (Water from the
spring)-eight editions; Pena de morte – sim ou não? (Death
Penalty, yes or no?)-eight editions; As sandálias de Cristo (Christ’s
sandals)-ten editions; Vida e obra do plagiário Paulo Francis (Life
and Works of plagiarist Paulo Francis)-four editions; Se não fosse o Brasil, Jamais
Barack Obama teria nascido (Without Brazil, Barack Obama would never
have been born)-six editions.
Fernando Jorge has a degree in Library Science by São Paulo University
(USP); he was the head of Technical Division of São Paulo State Legislative
Assembly Library. He was granted Clio
Award, by São Paulo City History
Academy; Jabuti Award (best
biographer) by Brazilian Chamber of Books;
the diploma and celebratory medallion of the centennial of Santos Dumont
birthday, granted by High Degree Committee of the Air Force Ministry Executive
Secretary (for being the greatest Santos Dumont’s biographer).